


this is going to make me Feel Things isn't it (spoiler alert: it did)

by hamifihekrix



Category: Homestuck
Genre: (or at least I tried), (sorry i don't remember what happened in the epilogues that much), Sadstuck, epilogue compliant
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-23
Updated: 2020-04-23
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:21:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,356
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23799946
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hamifihekrix/pseuds/hamifihekrix
Summary: karkat and kanaya explore some ruins together, in the search for more information about their ancestors
Comments: 4
Kudos: 16





	this is going to make me Feel Things isn't it (spoiler alert: it did)

Your name is KANAYA MARYAM. You are reaching the elderly age of seventeen sweeps sometime within the next several wipes. Currently, you are “raiding” old ruins in the Troll Kingdom, the place that your species has lived in for the entire span of the existence of sentient creatures on Earth C, with the leader of the Troll Rebellion, and your lifetime friend, Karkat Vantas. Some kind of tip traveled through the grapevine to Karkat that there were some kinds of ancient texts down here, detailing the lives of some of the adults on the original Alternia, which, as all trolls know, is impossible, as none of you nor your friends would have had the chance to plant anything of the sort on this planet. Curious, he called you to ask if you would like to accompany him to go on a bit of an exploratory “adventure”. He knows you too well. As soon as something grabs your curiosity, you can’t let it go until you get to the bottom of it. 

The area definitely looks like it would be thousands of sweeps old; you can practically smell the dampness of all the corners in every room you move through. The stereotypical mosses and stones are everywhere you look, and every room blends together. You start to feel like you’re walking in circles, about to ask Karkat, “Hey Didnt We Pass That Tree Already”. Just as you’re about to start believing that you are trapped here forever with no means of escape, the two of you enter a room that neither have you have seen before. 

There are books in here and shit. 

KARKAT: THOSE SURE ARE BOOKS AND SHIT.  
KANAYA: That Sure Is A Way That Those Words Could Be Put Together And Used Effectively  
KANAYA: Do You Think Those Rumours Could Have Actually Held Authenticity?  
KARKAT: I WOULDN’T BE SO QUICK TO BELIEVE. WE NEED TO SEARCH THROUGH THE BOOKS  
KARKAT: IT’D BE A MOTHERFUCKING GOLDMINE IF EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THESE BOOKS WERE ABOUT SECRET HIDDEN ALTERNIA BULLSHIT AND FRANKLY I DON’T THINK WE’RE LUCKY ENOUGH TO FIND MORE THAN A BOOK OR TWO ABOUT THE HORRIBLE PROCEEDINGS DONE ON THAT PLANET WITH THE HORRIBLE SYSTEM OF SOCIETY WITH LITTLE REGARD FOR THE SAFETY OF-  
KANAYA: I Get It Karkat Weve Had This Rant Session Before  
KARKAT: RIGHT, RIGHT.  
KARKAT: ...  
KARKAT: I JUST DON’T KNOW IF IT’S A GOOD IDEA AT ALL IN THE FUCKING SLIGHTEST TO BRING THIS STUFF UP AGAIN WITH THE POLITICAL CLIMATE OF EARTH C RIGHT NOW, I DOUBT IT’S A GOOD TIME TO BRING UP MORE OF AN EXCUSE TO LET JANE CALL US SAVAGE MONSTERS AGAIN AND-  
KANAYA: Karkat I Just Said Weve Had This Conversation Already  
KANAYA: I Know How You Feel I Feel Exactly The Same But Can You Imagine How Shocking And I Mean That In A Nonliteral Sense It Would Be To Find Out Information About Our Ancestors  
KARKAT: OH COME *ON*, YOU KNOW BETTER THAN ANYONE ELSE THAT I DON’T BELIEVE IN THAT BULLSHIT.  
KANAYA: Then Maybe You Can Find Comfort In Having Your Lifelong Belief Crushed By The Seemingly Impossible Literature Of Thousands And Thousands Of Sweeps Ago  
KARKAT: I’LL ALWAYS APPRECIATE YOUR CONSISTENCY, KANAYA. YOU AND YOUR SENSE OF HUMOR ARE ALWAYS DRY AND I DON’T KNOW WHAT I’D DO WITHOUT HEARING ONE OF YOUR HORRIBLE QUIPS EACH DAY.  
KANAYA: And I Dont Know What Id Do Without Your Constant Migraine Inducing Yelling And The Way You Repeat The Same Four Things Over And Over Just WIth Different Ways Of Saying Them  
KARKAT: WELL ANYWAY I GUESS WE SHOULD START LOOKING FOR THOSE BOOKS NOW HUH  
KARKAT: WE SHOULD PROBABLY DO IT IN SILENCE JUST TO GET FOCUSED OR WHATEVER.  
KANAYA: Sure Of Course We Can Keep Things Silent  
KANAYA: So You Have Time To Think Over The Epic “Dry” Burn I Just “Whipped” Out To You Right  
KARKAT: OF COURSE NOT, BUT SHUT UP.  
KANAYA: Righto

The two of you return to silence and start rummaging through everything you can. There’s a whole lot of junk here, though. Books like “Rustblood Cooking for One”, an instruction book for what you assume to be some kind of boardgame, and a book with no pages, simply labeled “Thoughts”.

After what feels like a long amount of time, Karkat shouts out in exclamation. Or maybe anger. Possibly both?

KARKAT: I THINK I FOUND SOMETHING.  
KANAYA: Hang On Let Me Have A Look  
KARKAT: IT DOESN’T SAY ANYTHING ON THE COVER BUT I’M SEEING NAMES LIKE “MARYAM” AND “VANTAS” AND IF I REMEMBER CORRECT THOSE ARE OUR LAST NAMES.  
KANAYA: Does It Mention Any Of Our Other Friends  
KARKAT: IM ONLY SEEING OUR NAMES  
KARKAT: MAYBE SOMEONE THOUGHT OUR ANCESTORS WERE IMPORTANT ENOUGH TO HAVE AN ENTIRE BOOK DEDICATED TO THEM.  
KANAYA: You Sure Flipped Your Opinion On Shall I Quote “That Bullshit” Quite Quickly  
KARKAT: WAIT SO THESE PEOPLE ARE THE VERSIONS OF THOSE ASSHOLES THAT WE MET IN THE DREAMBUBBLES THAT LIVED IN OUR TIMELINE RIGHT??  
KANAYA: That Is Correct  
KARKAT: THEN LET’S READ THROUGH THIS INSTEAD OF TALKING ABOUT WHATEVER IT IS THAT WE WERE JUST TALKING ABOUT.  
KANAYA: Ok But Let Me Read It  
KARAKT: FINE.

Karkat passes you the book, and it’s smaller than you thought. It looks like it’s probably less than two hundred pages. You guess that makes sense, though. Alternians never were good at writing biographies. No one has the eloquence, the style, to properly illustrate someone’s life and in favour of any positive quality, they just say things bluntly without being interesting at all. Anyway. 

The book feels weird, not the kind of weird that you feel with your hands but the kind of weird that you feel in your gut. Like something important is going to happen. This is the kind of feeling you haven’t felt in years. Cautious but excited, you open the book. Immediately, a flash of bright light erupts from the book’s pages. 

KARKAT: KANAYA!!!

Karkat is shouting out to you, but you can’t hear him. All you can hear is white noise. It fills your brain, and you don’t even feel yourself fall to the floor. 

Images fill your head. Images of a past civilization; a past life. Images of parenthood, of running, of danger. You’re witnessing the entire life of Porrim Maryam, as if her life is a movie. You see the highs, the lows, the happy moments, and the sad moments. You don’t even have time to process everything you’re seeing. 

And then, as suddenly as your brain faded out, you regain consciousness. You open your eyes and see Karkat kneeling next to you with a look of extreme worry in his eyes. His eyes well up when he sees you awake.

KARKAT: KANAYA  
KARKAT: YOU WORRIED THE SHIT OUT OF ME WHAT HAPPENED???? 

You jump up out of your place on the ground and wrap your hands around Karkat, placing your head on his shoulder and sobbing. 

KARKAT: WHAT’S WRONG????  
KARKAT: KANAYA????  
KANAYA: It Seems That The Book In Which Just Temporarily Stole My Brain From Me Showed Me The Exact Life Of My Ancestor  
KARKAT: REALLY?  
KANAYA: Yes  
KANAYA: And I Dont Know If You Can Tell Or Not But It Wasnt The Happiest Story  
KARKAT: KANAYA. DO YOU REALIZE HOW BIG THIS IS. HOW MUCH DO YOU REMEMBER??  
KANAYA: Most Of It But Thats Not My Main Concern Right Now  
KANAYA: Why Did It Only Do That To Me? Was It Placed Here Specifically For Me To Find It? When Will My Eyes Stop Leaking?  
KARKAT: YOU HAVE A POINT, BUT HOW ABOUT WE GO BACK TO YOUR HOME AND HAVE A BIG OF A REST BEFORE WE TALK ABOUT THIS SHIT. DOES THAT SOUND OK?  
KANAYA: Yes That Is Probably Best

Karkat stands up, and then reaches his hand down to you to help you up. While normally you would push yourself up to ward off his patronizing gesture, you decide that this may not be the time for that. The two of you walk out of the ruins together, feeling very, very tired.

**Author's Note:**

> hi! if you enjoyed this, make sure to check out my twitter [here!!](https://twitter.com/hamifihekrix)!! thank you for reading >:]


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